Feelings and needs : a shorter list

When I started to learn about NonViolent Communication, during my first training, I was handed a list of feelings and needs. Looking at that list was overwhelming. Why? Well, first of all, I was learning new skills, such as identifying the stories that I was telling myself when something happens, which was a huge shift for me.

I was also doing some intense self-reflection, probably for the first time ever. I was trying to understand the reasons for the actions I was taking: the needs behind the strategies.

And on top of that, the list of needs I was given was soooooooooo long! There was too much going on for me to be able to take that huge list in.

After taking different trainings, I started teaching NonViolent Communication in different settings and what felt like a major block for me was to repeat this overwhelming experience for the participants of my workshops. 

This is why I decided to create my own list of feelings and needs, simplified from the list I work with which is the list shared by John Kinyon in his "Conflict Coaching and Mediation" class. Mind you, after getting more experience with NonViolent Communication, I now enjoy the nuances and I use John's list all the time for myself or with others. This is the list I wish I was handed in 2016. I usually get a positive feedback when I hand it over during trainings and workshops. I hope you too find it useful.

Don't hesitate to connect to let me know your thoughts when you have a chance!

Download the list of feelings and needs